Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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