Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize