Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
