Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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