Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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