I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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