Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize