I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
