I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
they're like a gay fantastic four
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
