You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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