If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize