Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
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