Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize