I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
