Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Randomize
