Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
if only i could text you this smell
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize
