dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I just found a bag of teeth...
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
