So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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