I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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