the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
i think i just lost a toe
Randomize
