I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize