sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
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