cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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