Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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