I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Let's get the cat blown out
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Randomize
