Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
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