Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
