If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
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