it wasn't lemon gatorade
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
