what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
