I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
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