And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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