I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
