i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
