I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Less talking, more tequila
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
