We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Randomize
