omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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