tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Randomize
