Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Randomize