I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
