I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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