and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
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