Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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