Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
