Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize