So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
