My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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