i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
It's just like the Real World with babies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize