Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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