Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
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