You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
love makes seman taste better
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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