I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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