you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
