the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
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well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
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I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?